Dear Asshat,
There are debatably few scenarios in which, “Suck my dick,” is an acceptable thing to say. None of those involve shouting out the window of a moving truck at a woman you don’t know.
Freedom of speech ensures that you can share your frustrations to the world, but I might recommend against broadcasting the fact that my water bottle gets more action than you. I have happily lived my life without knowing that. In such cases, ignorance is bliss.
But I couldn’t care less about your water bottle fetish jealousy.
You, sir, have pissed me off. I was really happy to have found a decent water bottle to replace the one broken one. Yet now I am self-conscious about DRINKING WATER. How ridiculous is that?
It pisses me off that I’m constantly wondering if I will have to deal with another immature asshat choosing to foist his insecurities off on me. It pisses me off that I have wasted this much time and thought on your harassment.
And it’s not smart to piss off a writer.
Melissa Burkart 
You go girl!